moon river,
wider than a mile,
I'm crossing you in style,
some day..
Oh, dream maker,
you heart breaker,
wherever you're going,
I'm going your way..
Two drifters,
off to see the world,
There's such a lot of world,
to see..
We're after the same rainbow's end—
waiting 'round the bend,
my huckleberry friend,
moon river and me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oADhmqRb54
it was noon,
and as predicted by the shaman that the dark would fall sooner than usual.
it's the swallowing shadow time.
it ate hopes, loves and joys, alive.
being pragmatic all the time, i continued walking down to the cotton-yard just in village border as i missed playing with those swinging and flying whites glows in the air.
all the people around kept shouting at me in order warned me to get back to the house and hide under the bed. "but it's stupid.. and so boring.. " i replied.
"you silly girl.. get back to the house.. you run now for God sake, for it had no mercy and your stubborn will cost you later!"
i kept moving.. with head held high, smiling vaguely for those people even afraid of their own shadows.
then there it was.. my pure white cotton yards.. all the way downhills.
i glow with happiness, i jumped, i screamed, i was flying..
but then, the whites turned in to gray.. and darker and darker..
suddenly i realized that it was hanging in the tip of my feet.. crawling up.. to my thighs.. my belly .. and slowly but sure through my neck and..
can't breathe..
can't see anything for the world was turning into a pure black curtain.
the swallowing shadow has finally got me.
it was like dreaming, actually..
it was like somebody covered you with warm blanket, and seduce you with a lullaby.. and you felt that rocking chair was slowly put you to sleep.
7/2/22/6
I could be your sea of sand
I could be your warmth of desire
I could be your prayer of hope
I could be your gift of everyday
I could be your tide of heaven
I could be a hint of what’s to come
I could be ordinary
I could be the one
I could be your brown eyed angel
I could be the storm before the calm
I could be your secret pleasure
I could be your well wishing well
I could be your breath of life
I could be your asian dream
I could be ordinary
I could be the one
I would lie here in the darkness
i would lie here for all time
i would lie here watching over you
comfort you..
and sing to you..
I could be your worry partner
I could be your socialite
I could be your green eyed monster
I could be your force of light
I could be your temple garden
I could be your tender hearted child
I could be ordinary
I could be the one
I would lie here in the darkness
and i would lie here for all time
and i would lie here watching over you
comfort you..
and sing to you..
Will I ever change the journey
Will the hushed tones disappear
let me hold you..
let me love you..
I could be your leafy island
I could be your thunder in the clouds
I could be your dark enclosure
I could be your romantic soul
I could be your small beginning
I could be your soothing universe
I could be ordinary
I could be the one
finally,
month of may is coming, and slowly but sure i could feel that my heart is beating faster.. that stupid-monstrous-hideous big number thirty is coming to town.
how i wish the time will stop, right now, at this moment while i'm typing this non-sense topic which probably make you wonder what was it all about and decide that it's just a waste of energy, but yea.. it's not working.
what is it really the reasons why i hate those stupid numbers?
well, hmm.. thirty is like.. the first phase of getting old, aunty-style, i couldn't help the vivid image of some single women whom i watched buying their groceries and pushing their carts in the supermarket alley, taking organic foods and also cat foods; or shopping for kids apparel and hardly remember what size it should be; or hanging out at some beauty clinics looking for the most powerful anti aging cream; or walking down the street wearing jeans with rubber waist band and permed red hair, thinking that they were cozy yet stylish.. dear God.
regardless how shallow and ungrateful i may sounded, it occurred to me that, this could be the basis of my excuses..
if a friend sneered at my curvy figures, pointing at 'the' butt and thighs parts, i could easily replied: hey.. what can i say.. i'm thirty now.. digestion seemed not like it used to be..
if i wore that bling-bling tight tops that my sister always hate because i'd always end up looked like the dangdut singer elvi sukaesih, i could always said: well.. people said life begins at thirty.. don't i looked HOT?
if mum keep asking and repeating those depressing speech of "get-someone -to-marry-you-soon-enough-before-your father-and-i-die-thingy", i could always smile and say: mum.. this donut is INCREDIBLY tasty, can i take another 2 to go?
if i saw three pairs of shoes with exactly the same model, but different colors, and i love the three of them equally, i'll just pointing my fingers to them and said: the hell.. mama taking y'all home girls..
if..
ah so many ifs.. :)
i might just sit back and enjoy the ride..
sumpe de, ni lagu corny abis.
Tapi gw lagi sukaaa banget, apalagi kalo disetel pagi2 jam setengah enam dikamar adek gw yg cowo, bikin dia misah misuh karena tidurnya keganggu dan jadi terpaksa shalat shubuh; ngalahin suara tontonan rohani di rcti yg lagi ditonton nyokap yang bikin beliau jadi manyun sm gw; adek gw yg cewe? Ah.. dia mah teuteup tidur.. ga ngaruh yey, gw rasa pakai earplug.
Dikantor? Haduh.. pak nana, tetangga gw, jadi korban karena gw mewajibkan dia untuk nyahut “YESTERDAY!!” setiap gw nyanyi bagian refrain dengan alasan olahraga tangan dan pinggang *lho, apa hubungannya?* yah ada dwong, kan nyahutnya dengan gerakan tangan menunjuk keatas..
Gw inget lagu ini pernah jadi soundtrack satu film, lupse judulnya, yes film jadul abis, adegan di acara wedding trus lagu ini dinyanyiin oleh bridesmaid dan semua yg hadir ikutan koor dibagian ref: YESTERDAY!!
jadi kalo mood dah mulai menurun karena tumpukan draft capc LTA vehicle insurance atau car disposal yang menunggu minta diselesaikan; atau karena tiba2 ditodong ikutan jadi member panel utk 3 capc tender sama anak2 procurement mengenai contract baru internet connection atau computer yg sumpe de, ga ngerti dan belum sempet baca gara2 dokumennya segede2 bagong dan utk itu harus berjuang membaca kilat 3 menit saat si yg punya project presenting didepan panel, sekedar supaya saat ditanya ttg review gw ga bakal menunjukkan muka bingung bin dodol saat bilang “ehm.. sorry, i haven't read it, yet, so i think i'm going to pass now..” atau sok ngerti dan paham padahal.. sambil bilang *no comment.."; kelaparan karena ga sempet pesen bubur ayam sama mba2 office girl krn pagi2 dipanggil pak boss buat nanya follow up rpa admin clerk yg baru padahal dokumen rpanya masih di meja head of finance dan orangnya ga ada seharian dari kemarin krn sibuk meeting dan siap2 diceramahin ttg ‘pentingnya menjemput bola’; atau krn mendapati selisih 383 halaman saat cek actual record dgn counter fotokopi dan berharap ga ada yg tau waktu difference itu gw bebanin ke biaya satu unit *hiihhiih*
so, baby, just have fun and sing along!!
I don’t remember what day it was..
I didn’t notice what time it was
All I know is that I fell in love with you
And if all my dreams come true
I’ll be spending time with you
Every day’s a new day in love with you
With each day comes a new way of loving you
Every time I kiss your lips my mind starts to wonder
And if all my dreams come true
I’ll be spending time with you
Reff: Oh I love you more today than YESTERDAY!!
But not as much as tomorrow
Oh I love you more today than YESTERDAY!!
But darling not as much as tomorrow
…
For you I was a flame,
Love is a losing game
Five story fire as you came,
Love is losing game
One I wish I never played,
Oh, what a mess we made
And now the final frame,
Love is a losing game
Played out by the band,
Love is a losing hand
More than I could stand,
Love is a losing hand
Self professed profound
Til' the chips were down
Know you’re a gambling man
Love is a losing hand
Tho' I battled blind,
Love is a fate resigned
Memories mar my mind,
Love it is a fate resigned
Over futile odds,
And laughed at by the Gods
And now the final frame,
Love is a losing game
-amy winehouse, love is a losing game-
dua kerat roti, tersia sia didalam mangkuk alumunium bekas rumah makan didepan sana. ingin rasanya kuberikan kepada dirimu, tapi sepertinya roti ini terlalu kumuh utk digenggam ditanganmu yang gemuk, putih dan bersih itu.
dua gelas air putih, dingin, yang beraroma besi yang kuambil dari sumur dibelakang rumah dan airnya terus menetes melalui retakan karena tersenggol kucing kampung tadi pagi. ingin rasanya kuberikan kepada dirimu, tapi tampaknya gelas air putih ini terlalu buruk utk diminum dibibirmu yang mungil dan memerah itu.
dan hari demi hari, makin terasa setiap udara yang kuhirup, angin yang kubelai, tanah yang kuinjak, api yang kunyalakan, semakin terasa tak nyata.
membuat segala mejadi tak berirama, kaku dan kehilangan makna.
membuat ku mempertanyakan kaktus mengapa dia berduri; mempertanyakan denting piano tua ku mengapa bersuara sumbang;
mempertanyakan hatiku, mengapa masih terdiam dan termangu merenungkan sesuatu yang sesungguhnya seterang matahari pagi, sejelas batu kali didasar sungai, sehijau lumut yang menempel dipinggiran dinding dekat tanaman kacang2an dibelakang rumah.
terpandang dihadapan ku dua kerat roti dan dua gelas air, yang mulai meragi dan terkuras habis..
everything goes to nothing.
jadi ini ya epilog dari sebuah ketergesaan yang tak terpikirkan dan tak terbayangkan bisa terjadi pada sebuah hal yang pada suatu masa pernah terasa memabukkan dan menggugah mimpi.
everything goes to nothing.
kelak kan ku ambil kembali roti dalam mangkuk alumunium kumuh itu, dan air dalam gelas retak ini; kan kubawa mereka didalam kepalaku, didalam mataku, didalam dadaku.
everything goes to nothing.
everything goes to nothing.
When you get caught in the rain, With nowhere to run
When you’re distraught and in pain, Without anyone
We keep prayin’ to saved, But nobody comes
And you feel so far away, That you just can’t
Find your way home, You can get there alone
It’s okay, What you say
I can make it through the rain, I can stand up once again
On my own and I know, That I’m strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid, I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day, And I make it through the rain
And if you keep falling down, Don’t you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound, So keep pressing on
Step fastly, And you’ll find what you need
To prepare, What you say
And when the wind moves, And shadows grow close
Don’t be afraid, There’s nothing you can’t face
And sure they tell you, You’ll never pull through
Don’t hesitate, Stay calm and sane
Ooh, yes, you can..
You can make it through the rain
+Di daun yang ikut mengalir lembut
Terbawa sungai ke ujung mata
Dan aku mulai takut terbawa cinta
Menghirup rindu yang sesakkan dada
Jalanku hampa dan kusentuh dia
Terasa hangat oh didalam hati
Kupegang erat dan kuhalangi waktu
Tak urung jua kulihatnya pergi
++ Tak pernah kuragu dan slalu kuingat
Kerlingan matamu dan sentuhan hangat
Ku saat itu takut mencari makna
Tumbuhkan rasa yg sesakkan dada
+++ Kau datang dan pergi oh begitu saja
Semua kutrima apa adanya
Mata terpejam dan hati menggumam
Di ruang rindu kita bertemu
[letto]
here i am, starring at the laptop's monitor available nearby, stuck in a room waiting and waiting for uncertainty..
we've been here since early morning, preparing and coordinating for this events which keep changing from time to time. HAH!! so tired and exhausted..
i stayed late for this past couple of days anticipating for today's event and the year end's budget closing, dealing with horrible email from horrible person *ssshhh..*
the event was supposed to be started this afternoon, presidential lecturer with sby, townhall / UNCT meeting, and bla bla.., then guess what? all are cancelled at the last minute, blame it to strongheaded us delegation which caused deadlock at unfccc meeting in bali and resulting the delay of the closing ceremony of the event.
and all of us sitting here and smiled to each other with puzzled expression and wondering the reason why we're here for hahhahha..
so the six laptops provided at the secretariat were suddenly occupied by us, acting delegation in charge, putting on serious facial expressions, opening any websites available starting from friendster, facebook, gigolo service, you name it.. :D
but anyway, it's fun though, to have the experiences dealing with paspampres, i can't forget the looks on their faces while i walk into this meeting room which is filled with the military corps, with my high heels, red mini skirt and sweater. ooh man, i did feel like a cat in the shower.
wait.. i think i've heard some cheers over there at the bedroom.. is it the good news or what? oooh.. they're watching oprah winfrey show.
alright, it's confirmed, they finally, finally come..
better i check my multiply before it's too late *giggles*
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